June 3rd, 2024 | Read Online​

“Do you trust your partner?”

During a conversation with a founder last year, a line from The Shawshank Redemption resonated with me

The Intentional Leadership Newsletter

ADuring a conversation with a founder last year, a line from The Shawshank Redemption, a movie known for its robust dialogue, resonated with me.

This line “Do you trust your wife?”, which nearly cost Tim Robbins's character his life, seemed to mirror the founder's current situation with his wife.

She said they had lost touch. He was insufferable when he was home (which was rare), and he was ‘a bad parent’ (knife to the heart).

He argued against all that being true. He felt attacked and misunderstood.

“Do you truly trust your wife?” I asked, hoping to underline the significance of trust in their relationship.

“Of course,” he said, and “I love her more than anything.”

“Consider this as a call for improvement. She is pointing out areas where you can do better because she loves you and believes in your potential.”

“She is not attacking you.”

We spoke about how he wanted to be as a man, partner, and father. Naturally, it was far from where he was today.
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I suggested a few mental and practical tweaks to implement immediately.

And I told him to tell her that he trusted her and knew that she was trying to get him back to being him.

Over the ensuing months things got better, my client rearranged his work life to reflect his desire to spend more time with his family, he calmed down (became less insufferable) and started being the best dad he can be.

So, if someone around you is telling you anything like the above. Listen. Learn. And then do something.

They are telling you because they love you.

All my best,

Peter

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